If You Can Dodge a Wrench, You Can Dodge a Ball.

I've taken up dodgeball.  More as an extra-curricular get-me-out-of-the-condo sort of thing, not necessarily as a sport.

I am, however, loving it!  We play every Monday night and it's a team made up of some work colleagues and some acquaintances I've made thru those very work colleagues.

It's great exercise and my pitchin' arm really hurts!!  Last week, since we only had 2/3 girls in attendance and at least 2 have to be on the court each game, I played for the entire hour.  What a workout!  I didn't play as much last night, but it was still crazy fun and I'm loving my choice to get on up and dodge those balls.

                                                     pic from www. lazygeek.com

No, we don't have fun outfits like that.  BUT, I am thinking of using an old skool Bedazzler to make us some jerseys.  Bad idea?


*Side note: we played a team named Globo Gym last night.  I didn't make the connection that it was NOT an actual gym and instead from the movie Dodgeball until I was looking up pictures for this post.  Eff.  I'm an idiot.


Hugs,

*Canadian Girl

Self Confidence. Where to get It?

The title of the post says it all. I've lost my self confidence and I can't find it. Serious.

Why? I don't particularly know. I'm not dumb. I have a great job. I'm hot (*or so I'm told, NOT my personal opinion). I own my own home. All that, and I'm only in my early twenties.

What is it about me? Why can I never think I'm good enough. I don't just find this in my love life; I find it in my daily life. I have trouble at work because I'm constantly seeking affirmation from others that I'm doing well, when really you are the only person who should be responsible for your own self confidence. I seem to have no problem attracting dudes. Note I use the word dudes. Not particularly great guys, but dudes. They're the "guido" type (* more on that in my next post), who seem to just want a good time and don't want anything serious.  Gross.  Here's hoping I find a "special" dude in there somewhere.

Maybe having a guy will help my self confidence. Who knows.  But it all comes around to the fact that I don't want my self confidence to E-V-E-R  be based on admiration from some guy.  I want to find my self confidence from inside.  I want to really and truly believe that I am worthy.  I don't know where it stems from.  I'd always thought it perhaps came from my childhood where I was overweight, bucktoothed, and wore glasses.  It was my perception that I was an ugly duckling for my entire childhood.  Recently, however, I came across an old photo of myself as a young child in my parents' collection of old photos.  The first thing that caught my eye was how striking I was.  I wasn't like other kids that age; "cute" would not be what I would describe the picture to be.  I looked exotic...almost too exotic for a young girl.  I was am beautiful and always have been.

Perception.  Maybe that's just it.  Maybe I need to change my overall perception of myself to obtain that self confidence I so wholeheartedly lack.  Here's to another year on the horizon.  Here's to another opportunity to perceive myself in a different light as the beautiful, intelligent and successful woman I know I am.






Hugs,


*Canadian Girl

The Big 2-4

 So sorry for my delinquent posting of late.  It's my birthday tomorrow and I had a rather busy weekend with friends and family.  It was a wonderful weekend and one of the best birthdays yet, however it took up a lot of my free time!!

As I turn another year older, I reflect on where I am in my life and where I'm going.  I'm not where I thought I'd be at 24; that's for sure.  I was certain I'd be engaged by now.  I'd have someone who loved me.  I don't know why it means so much to me - I have everything else I could want: my own place, a great group of friends and a medicore-paying jobs with room to grow sigificantly in the future.  LOVE.  I hate that word.  Maybe I hate it because I'm not IN love.  Maybe I'm jaded.  Who knows.   Someone buy me a cake.  Like this.  It'll make me feel better.



Next post = long.  But I'm reflecting.  I need to vent.  Apologies.


Hugs,

*Canadian Girl


*thanks to www.pinkcakebox.com for the pic